Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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