My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
