I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
