But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
