Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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