where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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