You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
