"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
