Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
