I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
