I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
i think i just lost a toe
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
