If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
