just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
