So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
