mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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