he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
