I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
