soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
