Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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