My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
