did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
