I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
