So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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