So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We have started to decorate penises.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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