I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
