Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
