I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
