I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
