its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
