It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
