i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
my poor anus
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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