The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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