i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
