so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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