NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
