I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
