You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
