whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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