Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
