the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
