I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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