So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I will pee on everything he values.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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