You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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