Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
