The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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