Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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