called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
