it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
How's work?
Spinning.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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