he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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