Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
