I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
